Sep 1, 2024 2 min read

How to deal with a manager who micromanages everything

The fastest way to try decrease productivity is by hiring a manager who micromanages everything. Feel free to steal this, if your boss is asking you to send a detailed list of every-single-thing you worked on for the day.

Being micro-managed sucks. If your manager is telling you to write down everything, and how long it took - we think you should find a new job. End of day reports are helpful when done well - but most times they ask for too much detail. So, here is what you can send:

8:00 AM - The Productivity Begins!

8:00 - 8:01: Logged into computer. Admired desktop background for precisely 3.7 seconds.
8:01 - 8:02: Opened email. Deleted 17 spam messages. Felt a surge of accomplishment.
8:02 - 8:03: Took a sip of coffee. Realized it was cold. Contemplated life choices.
8:03 - 8:04: Updated this list. Patted self on back for extreme diligence.
8:04 - 8:05: Sneezed. Logged sneeze in company's new "Health Tracking Initiative" spreadsheet.
8:05 - 8:06: Thought about working. Decided to update list instead.
8:06 - 8:07: Received passive-aggressive email from manager asking for more detail in the list.
8:07 - 8:08: Added more detail to this list. Considered career in creative writing.

9:00 AM - Peak Productivity Hour

9:00 - 9:01: Stared intensely at computer screen to appear busy during manager's walk-by.
9:01 - 9:02: Googled "how to look busy at work" in incognito mode.
9:02 - 9:03: Practiced power poses at desk. Received strange looks from coworkers.
9:03 - 9:04: Updated list. Wondered if this counts as cardio.
9:04 - 9:05: Sent email to IT about slow computer. Blamed for decreased productivity.
9:05 - 9:06: Thought about actual work. Quickly suppressed the urge.
9:06 - 9:07: Created new spreadsheet to track time spent updating time-tracking spreadsheets.
9:07 - 9:08: Daydreamed about a world without micromanagement. Snapped back to reality.

10:00 AM - The Pivotal Hour

10:00 - 10:30: Attended meeting about the importance of time management.
10:30 - 10:31: Reflected on the irony of life.
10:31 - 10:32: Updated list with meeting notes: "Discussed synergy, paradigm shifts, and the color of the new cover sheets for TPS reports."
10:32 - 10:33: Wondered if "paradigm" is spelled correctly. Spent 30 seconds second-guessing myself.
10:33 - 10:34: Received 17 new emails during meeting. Marked all as read without opening.
10:34 - 10:35: Practiced mindfulness. Achieved enlightenment. Lost it immediately when manager asked for list update.
10:35 - 11:59: Got tired of updating list. Searched for new jobs on company time.

12:00 PM - Lunch Break

12:00 - 2:37: Extended lunch. Figured if I'm updating the list, I'm technically working.

The Afternoon Shift

2:37 - 5:00: Updated cover letter and filled out 4 job applications. Logged in system as "competitive market research."